Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Okay, You Be the Doctor and I'll be the Dead Hooker...

"I received a copy of the film with accompanying vinyl, catchy, creative and collectible bumper sticker from who, I can only imagine, are the fabulous, flying Soska Sisters. This led me to believe that somewhere in this great blue marble a force beyond me, somewhat awe inspiring and highly influential (that's Kristy Jett folks)told me to write this review. And then something about, if I write... they will come.. then I got freaked out and peed. After seeing the movie, I peed again, vomited and put my jock strap with pre-inserted cup on (because if the Soskas are coming, it's worse than if they entire cast of Hostel was given your home address and a buy one, get one free coupon)."

This is just a small part of the beginning of the new review of 'Dead Hooker in a Trunk' from the hilarious and charismatic from Dr. James 'Jimmy' Terror of Dr. Terror's Blog of Horrors. What is the Blog of Horrors?

"DR. TeRRoR's BLoG oF HoRRoRs

Introducing, for the first time on this stage or any other, a HORROR Host for a generation that does not want or realize that it NEEDS A HORROR HOST... yet... From the bowels and brains of American International to the rib cage and eye sockets of Amicus, Dr. James Terror will write your eyes shut with, well ... TERROR!!! (and perhaps a bit of camp now and again for flavor)"

The doctor's use of language is comical, graphic, and awesome. It's a very fun and informative blog - without spoilers - meaning you can read them without finding out who kills who, what goes into where, and Bruce Willis was dead all this time until you're good and ready. I really enjoyed reading this review, it's great for those of you who haven't seen Hooker yet and are going spoiler-free until you do. Here's one of my favorite parts --

"There's nothing like a creepy old man with a goat. Further I say there's nothing quite like that man fucking a dead body. I haven't seen necrophilia like that since grade school (Clerks). This movie is the Breakfast Club in drag or the blood equivalent of drag. What happens when the whiny emota-Christians with their hymnals meet up with the dope swallowing, vamp-punk, pee while standing up crowd? It's Abbott and Costello meets Frankenstein. It's Molly Ringwald giving her earring to Judd Nelson... or at least it feels that way. Stereotype bending, youth growth film with the best damn hand gun blasts to the head and love that chainsaw scene. Savini would love the originality of the texture of the brains (if not realistic it certainly was aesthetically pleasing)."

Thank you, doctor. I'm feeling much better after that. I'll read it twice more and call you in the morning. So stoked that you dug the flick! Thank you for passing along the word about it. Very fucking rad. Read the whole medicinal piece here. Enjoy!


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